First Responder Wellness Podcast with Conrad Weaver

141 Days: Zero Contact — When the System Fails You
What happens when you’ve given decades of your life to law enforcement—and suddenly the system you trusted goes silent?
Deputy Chief Rusty Myers spent 31 years in law enforcement, serving as a patrol officer, supervisor, training commander, internal affairs investigator, and leader. He understood accountability. He understood investigations. In fact, he believed strongly that Internal Affairs should protect both the integrity of the profession and the officers who serve within it.
Then he became the one under investigation.
After an incident involving another officer, Rusty was placed on administrative leave. He believed the facts—and his own body-camera footage—would quickly resolve the situation.
Instead, he went 141 days with zero contact from his department unless he initiated it himself.
The phone stopped ringing. Text messages went unanswered. He was isolated from the profession and the people who had been at the center of his life for decades.
Eventually, he lost his job.
And somewhere along the way, Rusty began losing himself.
In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Rusty tells the deeply personal story of an investigation that stretched into a nearly two-year battle to clear his name. But this conversation isn't primarily about proving who was right or wrong.
It's about what happened to the human being caught inside the process.
Rusty describes what he calls “the loop”—his mind endlessly replaying what had happened. He talks candidly about using alcohol to temporarily shut that loop off, the accumulated trauma from decades of police work that came rushing back, and the moment he realized he was checking every box on the suicide-awareness checklist he had once taught to other officers.
Including the last one:
He had a plan.
His wife finally told him he needed help. That intervention began a journey through counseling, EMDR, faith, family, friendship, and ultimately back into law enforcement leadership.
Today, Rusty is a deputy chief overseeing patrol, training, and Internal Affairs—and he's using what happened to him to change how officers are treated when they find themselves under investigation.
Because accountability and compassion are not mutually exclusive.
An officer may need to be removed from duty while an investigation takes place. But that doesn't mean the agency has to remove the human connection.
Sometimes a phone call that simply says, “Nothing changed this week. I just wanted to check on you. Are you doing okay?” can matter more than leaders realize.
In This Episode
Rusty and I talk about leadership and why FTOs and frontline supervisors have such an enormous influence on agency culture; how Internal Affairs can maintain accountability without creating unnecessary fear; what prolonged investigations and administrative leave can do to an officer psychologically; why communication must continue even when leaders can't discuss the details of a case; how accumulated trauma can remain hidden until one major event breaks everything open; Rusty's journey to recognizing his own suicidal thinking and getting professional help; and why peer support needs to become part of how agencies operate—not simply a program sitting on the sidelines.
We also talk about Rusty's book, Tattered: When the Blue Line Frays, and why he wrote it for the officer sitting alone wondering whether there's any way forward.
One of the most important things Rusty learned is that although his leadership failed him, the entire blue line didn't.
Friends showed up. His wife stood beside him. A former police officer who became his pastor walked with him. A counselor helped him unpack years of accumulated trauma. Other officers quietly kept an eye on him when he couldn't take care of himself.
The line frayed.
It didn't break.
And Rusty's message to the officer struggling today is simple:
The sun will rise tomorrow. You need to be there to see it.
Connect With Rusty
Book: Tattered: When the Blue Line Frays by Arthur W. Myers III
Website: rusty-myers.com
Rusty makes an extraordinary offer in this conversation: if you're an officer who needs the book but can't afford it, contact him. He'll find a way to get a copy into your hands.
He didn't write the book to make money.
He wrote it to save lives.
If you or another first responder is struggling, don't fight that battle alone. Reach out to someone you trust, your peer-support team, a culturally competent mental-health professional, or a crisis resource. Asking for help may be the most important decision you make.
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

150 - The Heroism and Resiliency of 9/11 - with Director, Michael Gier
 
Twenty-five years after September 11, 2001, we remember the nearly 3,000 lives lost, the first responders who ran toward danger, and the countless people whose lives were forever changed.
But what happened after the tragedy?
In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver sits down with filmmaker Michael Gier, creator of The Heroism and Resiliency of 9/11: From Tragedy to Triumph, to explore stories from September 11 that many Americans have never heard.
Michael deliberately set out to make a different kind of 9/11 documentary—not simply another retelling of the attack, but a film about the extraordinary acts of courage, compassion, resilience, and unity that emerged from it.
You'll hear the remarkable story of people living at the New York City Rescue Mission—some struggling with homelessness and addiction—who opened their doors to Wall Street workers fleeing the devastation. One resident, who owned only two shirts, gave one of them away to someone who had escaped covered in ash.
Michael also shares the story of Federal Reserve leader Roger Ferguson and the decisions made behind the scenes to help stabilize the nation's financial system, as well as the extraordinary survival and rescue of Port Authority Police Officer Will Jimeno from beneath the rubble.
But perhaps the most important part of this conversation is what happened on September 12.
American flags appeared everywhere. Neighbors helped neighbors. Political affiliation, race, religion, status, and wealth suddenly seemed far less important. People saw one another as human beings who needed each other.
That leads to a question worth asking 25 years later:
Why does it take tragedy to remind us that we belong to each other?
Michael also connects the resilience of 9/11 survivors to the personal "ground zeros" people experience today—loss, illness, financial crisis, relationship breakdown, trauma, and adversity.
Their stories don't tell us recovery is easy.
They remind us that it is possible.
This episode is about remembering 9/11—but it's also about remembering what happened next and asking whether we can recover some of that same courage, compassion, connection, and resilience today.
 
Learn more about the film: https://heroismandresiliency.com/
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 
 

149 - Leadership Is Wellness: Four Conversations Every First Responder Should Hear
Leadership and wellness are not separate conversations.
In this special edition of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver shares highlights from the first four episodes of the brand-new First Responder Leadership Podcast—featuring conversations with Chris Cowan, Jason Yerkovich, Kristen Ziman, and Max Gomez.
These leaders come from different backgrounds and experiences, but their stories point to the same truth: healthy leaders help create healthy teams.
Chris Cowan shares how the line-of-duty death of one of his officers changed the way he thinks about leadership, significance, and what it means to live a legacy.
Jason Yerkovich challenges one of the most common responses in the first responder world—“I’m fine”—and talks about the importance of self-awareness, ownership, and doing the work required to become healthier.
Former Police Chief Kristen Ziman reflects on leading through a mass shooting and realizing that while she had worked hard to provide mental-health resources for her officers, she wasn’t taking her own advice. Her lesson is one every leader needs to hear: you have to put the mask on yourself before you can take care of everyone else.
And Max Gomez shares the moment he realized the job was changing him and forced him to confront a powerful question:
Who am I becoming?
This episode is a preview of the kinds of conversations you’ll hear regularly on the First Responder Leadership Podcast—conversations about leadership, culture, emotional intelligence, wellness, resilience, personal responsibility, and becoming the leader your people deserve.
Listen to the First Responder Leadership Podcast
The new show is now live.
Listen on Apple Podcasts
Watch and subscribe on YouTube
Listen to the full conversations with Chris Cowan, Jason Yerkovich, Kristen Ziman, and Max Gomez—and subscribe so you don’t miss the leadership conversations still to come.
Because leadership doesn’t begin with everyone else.
It begins with you.
 
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

A New Chapter: Leadership, Wellness & What’s Next - Conrad Weaver
Something new is coming — and it’s been in the works for quite some time.
In this special edition of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver steps away from the normal interview format to share two major announcements about the future of First Responder Wellness Solutions — and why leadership has become such an important part of the mission.
After years of bringing PTSD911 to agencies and communities across the country and having conversations with first responders, families, clinicians, and command staff, one thing has become increasingly clear:
If we want healthier first responders, we need healthy leaders.
That conviction is driving two new initiatives designed to equip first responder leaders to lead better, live healthier, and create cultures that thrive under pressure.
The First Responder Leadership Podcast
Launching September 1, the new First Responder Leadership Podcast begins with four powerful conversations with first responder leaders who have experienced the realities of leadership firsthand.
These aren't conversations about leadership theory. They're honest discussions with people who have led through crisis, made difficult decisions, learned from failure, navigated organizational challenges, and discovered what it takes to lead themselves and others well.
The podcast will explore topics including:
Leadership under pressure
Building healthier organizational cultures
Leading through crisis and adversity
Personal wellness and self-leadership
Difficult decisions and lessons learned
Developing the next generation of first responder leaders
The first four episodes drop September 1.
Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and share the show with another first responder leader.
The First Responder Leadership Network
Conrad also officially introduces the First Responder Leadership Network — a growing leadership-development community created specifically for the realities of public safety leadership.
The Network is being built as more than another source of leadership content. It's a place for leaders to learn, connect, grow, and have the conversations that don't always happen inside their own organizations.
Members will have access to a growing ecosystem that includes:
Leadership and wellness training courses
Practical leadership resources
Leadership Masterminds
Conversations with experienced leaders and subject-matter experts
Peer connection with leaders across public safety
Leadership development opportunities
The upcoming First Responder Leadership Summit
The goal is simple: develop healthier leaders who can build healthier teams and stronger organizations.
PTSD911 Continues
While these new initiatives have been developing behind the scenes, the mission of PTSD911 continues.
The film is still being brought to departments, conferences, associations, and communities around the country to create meaningful conversations about first responder mental health, wellness, organizational culture, and asking for help.
If you'd like to bring PTSD911 to your agency or community, we'd love to work with you.
Learn more about hosting a screening:PTSD911Movie.com/screenings
One Mission
The PTSD911 documentary, the First Responder Wellness Podcast, the new Leadership Podcast, the Leadership Network, Masterminds, training courses, and upcoming Summit aren't separate projects.
They're part of one larger mission:
Equip first responder leaders to lead better, live healthier, and create stronger, healthier cultures for the people they serve.
Because leadership isn't simply about rank or title.
It's about influence.
It's about how you show up.
It's about what you model.
And sometimes the most important person you will ever learn to lead is yourself.
In This Episode
Conrad shares:
Why leadership has become central to the mission
What's coming with the First Responder Leadership Podcast
Why the First Responder Leadership Network was created
How leadership and wellness are inseparable
What's ahead for Masterminds, training, and the Leadership Summit
Why PTSD911 screenings remain an important part of the work
The bigger vision connecting all of these initiatives
First Responder Leadership Podcast: Launching September 1, 2026
PTSD911 Screenings: PTSD911Movie.com/screenings
First Responder Leadership Network: Learn more and join the growing community of first responder leaders committed to leading better, living healthier, and building cultures that thrive under pressure.
 
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Join us for the FREE Leadership Webinar on Tuesday, August 25! 
Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

SPECIAL EDITION: AXON AID - How a Tech Innovator is Fighting for First Responder Mental Health
 
What does a technology company best known for TASER energy weapons and body cameras have to do with first responder mental health and wellness? More than you might expect.
In this special edition of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver sits down with Bella Giannini, Head of Marketing at Axon Enterprise and one of the founding voices behind Axon Aid—the company's philanthropic initiative providing wellness resources and support to first responders and public safety agencies.
Bella takes us inside the evolution of Axon Aid, from its beginnings during Hurricane Florence in 2018, to helping agencies secure PPE and hand sanitizer during the COVID-19 pandemic, to what it has become today: a growing ecosystem of wellness resources available to agencies at no cost, whether or not they use Axon products.
In this special conversation, you'll hear about:
Post-traumatic growth and the framework developed with Boulder Crest Institute—including research suggesting that trauma, when processed effectively, can become a catalyst for resilience and growth.
VR empathy and de-escalation training that allows officers to practice interactions with individuals experiencing mental health crises in a safe, controlled environment.
The Axon Aid memorial fund, providing immediate financial support to families of officers lost in the line of duty or to suicide.
Why Axon sees supporting the people who protect others as more than a business initiative—it's a commitment to the people behind the badge.
Bella's personal connection to this mission through her Vietnam veteran father and the hope she carries for him and others who have lived with the lasting impact of trauma.
This special edition is for first responders who may be wondering what help is actually available—and for chiefs, command staff, peer-support teams, wellness coordinators, and agency leaders looking for practical resources they can bring back to their people.
Some of those resources may be closer than you think.
Explore Axon Aid's wellness resources at axon.com/aid.
If this conversation is valuable to you, subscribe to the First Responder Wellness Podcast, leave a review, and share this special edition with a leader, colleague, or first responder who needs to know these resources exist.
Learn More: www.axon.com/aid
 
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Join us for the FREE Leadership Webinar on Tuesday, August 25! 
Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

147 - The Loneliness Epidemic Is Killing First Responders - with Dr. Jody Carrington
In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver sits down with Dr. Jody Carrington — psychologist, bestselling author, and former civilian member of Canada’s national police force, the RCMP — for an important conversation about first responder mental health, PTSD, burnout, loneliness, trauma, and the power of human connection.
Dr. Carrington brings a rare perspective to the conversation. She spent years embedded in policing culture, trained alongside RCMP cadets, and has spent more than 25 years working with first responders and people impacted by trauma. She understands both the demands of the job and what can happen when there is no meaningful opportunity to decompress, reconnect, and recover.
At the heart of the episode is a sentence heard in firehouses, patrol cars, dispatch centers, and EMS stations everywhere: “We’re fine.” Dr. Carrington explains why those words can mask something much deeper. She explores the growing loneliness epidemic among first responders and how organizational culture, fragmented schedules, social media, cumulative trauma, and the expectation to remain tough can contribute to isolation and burnout.
The conversation also gets into the neuroscience. Dr. Carrington explains how trauma and chronic stress affect the brain and nervous system, using the “flip the lid” brain model to show what happens when a first responder becomes dysregulated during or after a difficult call. She introduces her practical “go in, go out” framework for nervous system regulation and discusses how connection can play an important role in trauma recovery and resilience.
Dr. Carrington also makes the case for understanding PTSD as a psychological injury rather than simply a mental illness, and why changing that language could help reduce the mental health stigma that remains prevalent in fire, EMS, law enforcement, and other first responder professions.
For leaders, the conversation turns toward first responder organizational culture and trauma-informed leadership. Dr. Carrington offers practical guidance for middle leaders who want to create healthier teams and build meaningful cultural change without waiting for permission from the top.
Listeners will come away with a better understanding of first responder burnout, cumulative trauma, emotional regulation, social connection, PTSD, and resilience, along with practical ideas they can begin using personally and within their organizations.
Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that first responders were never meant to carry the weight of this work alone — and that the people who spend their careers taking care of others deserve the opportunity to finish those careers healthy, connected, and whole.
 
 
Connect with Dr. Carrington: https://www.drjodycarrington.com
 
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Join us for the FREE Leadership Webinar on Tuesday, August 25! 
Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Join the First Responder Leadership Mastermind: firstresponderwellness.co/mastermind
 
146 - From Felonies to the Front Lines: One Woman's Journey Through Addiction and Recovery Work
What does it really take to go from a stolen car, a drug addiction, and a revolving-door relationship with jail — to 14 years of sobriety and a career saving other people's lives?


In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver sits down with Casey Burley, a recovery advocate and Narcan trainer who has been in recovery since September 14, 2011. Casey's story is not a tidy redemption arc. It is raw, honest, and deeply relevant to every first responder who has ever wondered whether the people they keep encountering on their worst calls are capable of change.


Casey takes us through her journey from early drug use at age 16 — starting with meth — through years of incarceration, to a treatment program where one counselor's relentless belief in her became the turning point that changed everything. She talks about what recovery housing actually looks like, why isolation is one of the most dangerous forces in addiction, and what it feels like to respond to overdoses and deaths in the same community you once nearly left permanently.


In this conversation, you'll hear:

Why Casey says people in recovery are not a lost cause — and what first responders need to see to believe it

The reality of fentanyl and carfentanil in every drug on the street today, and why everyone needs to know how to use Narcan

What happens inside a recovery home after someone dies — and the quiet, careful work Casey does for the family left behind

How self-labeling as an addict is just as destructive as being labeled by others, and how that changes in recovery

A direct challenge to first responders: come to a recovery event and see the people who are making it


This episode is for first responders, law enforcement officers, counselors, recovery workers, families of people struggling with addiction, and anyone who has ever wondered whether it is worth fighting for someone who keeps falling down.

The answer Casey gives is yes. Every time. Because somebody fought for her — and she never forgot it.


Connect with Casey: waqrr.org (Washington Alliance for Quality Recovery Residences)
Subscribe to the First Responder Wellness Podcast and share this episode with someone on the frontlines who needs to hear it.
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

Ready to become the leader your people deserve? Applications for Cohort #2 of the First Responder Leadership Mastermind are now open. Space is limited. Learn more: https://firstresponderwellness.co/mastermind
145 - From Skeptic to Believer - with Chief Rob Reardon
Episode Description
What happens when a fire chief faces the kind of call no department ever wants to receive?
In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver sits down with Fire Chief Rob Reardon, a former TV journalist turned firefighter and chief, to discuss the pediatric critical incident that changed his department—and changed him.
Rob shares how his crew navigated the aftermath of multiple pediatric cardiac arrests, why their first critical incident stress debrief failed, and how peer support, EMDR therapy, and strong leadership helped them begin to heal. Once skeptical of mental health resources, Rob explains why he now believes seeking help is one of the strongest decisions a first responder can make.
In This Episode
Firefighter mental health after a pediatric trauma
Critical incident stress management and peer support
How EMDR therapy helped a skeptical fire chief heal
Building trust and wellness in the fire service
Leadership lessons from one of the toughest calls of Rob's career
Whether you're a firefighter, fire chief, EMS provider, law enforcement officer, or public safety leader, this conversation offers practical insight into first responder wellness, resilience, and leading through trauma.
Subscribe to the First Responder Wellness Podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Learn more at PTSD911.com.
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.
 

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone, and help is available.
You can also find first responder-specific resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
 
"I had to save myself because if I stayed where I was, I literally was going to die. It wouldn't have been a proverbial die. It would be a true death."
— Tracey Wilkinson
 
144 - PTSD and Institutional Betrayal with Tracey Wilkinson
 
What happens when the people we trust to save others cannot get help saving themselves?
In this powerful and deeply personal episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver sits down with Tracey Wilkinson — a retired Fort Wayne, Indiana firefighter with 23 years of service — to talk about one of the most important conversations in the first responder world: what happens when you fall apart, and the institution you gave your life to looks the other way.
Tracey's story begins with a line-of-duty death at a training exercise she was responsible for as a training officer. The guilt of that incident, layered on top of two decades of accumulated trauma, eventually led to a PTSD diagnosis, severe physical symptoms, and a period of suicidal ideation so dark that she describes standing on the edge multiple times.
What kept her here — and her answer is both heartbreaking and profound — was her fierce protectiveness of the people who would have had to respond to her if she hadn't been.
This conversation is for the firefighter who is white-knuckling it through every shift, for the officer who doesn't know why small incidents are suddenly setting them off, and for the administrators and union leaders who want to do better but don't know where to start. Tracey brings both her lived experience and her academic training to offer one of the most grounded, compassionate, and clinically informed conversations on this podcast.
 
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Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources
Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/
Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact GaryMiller@ptsd911movie.comWeb site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih
The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC
Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Click here for a Coaching Strategy Call with Conrad Weaver: https://firstresponderwellness.co/schedule/
 
143 - Ego Kills Careers, and How to Lead Differently with Dr. Ron Camacho
 
"There is a pre-therapy Camacho and a post-therapy Camacho. They are two totally different people."
— Chief Ron Camacho
What does it take to go from being the most feared officer in the building to the most trusted chief in the department? For Dr. Ron Camacho, it took therapy — and the courage to look honestly at who he had become.In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver sits down with Chief Ron Camacho of the North Charleston, South Carolina Police Department — a 30-year law enforcement veteran who built his career in York, Pennsylvania, advised police forces in Afghanistan, managed a State Department contract in Mexico, and eventually led two police departments: a 40-person agency in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, and now a 400-officer department in one of South Carolina's most complex cities.But his title is not the most interesting thing about him. What makes this conversation different is his honesty. Chief Camacho describes his early leadership style as 'a cross between Patton and Genghis Khan.' He admits to intentionally trying to break officers in disciplinary meetings — and celebrating when he made them cry. He was, as he puts it, angry every day. On the path to a stroke, a use-of-force incident, or worse.In this episode, you will hear:
Why ego in law enforcement is a symptom of insecurity — not toughness
How unresolved childhood trauma drove his early leadership failures
The specific moment therapy changed everything
How he scaled from a 40-person to a 400-person department and what he had to unlearn
The real story behind his department cutting use-of-force by 50% in year one
Why he teaches 'Ego Kills Careers' classes to every rank in his department
How cross-industry learning from business leaders made him a better cop
The coaching program he brought into his department to develop officers at every level
How to start building self-awareness — even if you have never been to therapy
This episode is for every first responder who has ever suspected that the culture around them — or inside them — might be part of the problem. It is for supervisors and chiefs who want to know what servant leadership actually looks like in practice. And it is for anyone who has been told that going to therapy means you are weak.Chief Camacho proves, with data and with his own life, that it means the opposite.Subscribe to the First Responder Wellness Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Share this episode with a leader in your department who needs to hear it.
 
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